


Of Endings And New Beginnings

by broadwaydarren



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Drabble, M/M, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-22 20:23:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4849265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broadwaydarren/pseuds/broadwaydarren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ending isn’t finite, when it finally comes. It’s not two words on a page. It’s not the credits rolling at the end of a movie. They don’t fight, or yell, or throw things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Endings And New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short little thing that I wrote at 3am. Musings about Chris and Darren's relationship post-glee. This may turn into a verse, but don't hold me to that. Excuse any british spellings.

The ending isn’t finite, when it finally comes. It’s not two words on a page. It’s not the credits rolling at the end of a movie. They don’t fight, or yell, or throw things. Darren just tells Chris he’s going to be out of town for a good few months. He won’t have time to come see Chris, and Chris probably shouldn’t come see him because it would raise too much suspicion, cause too many rumors. Chris is fine with that. They’ve always had waiting periods. They’ve almost been apart more than they’ve been together, especially during the summers.

They keep in touch. Chris wishes Darren luck as many times a week as he can remember for his shows. He looks up audio clips and photos online, and he even watches a bootleg, much to Darren’s chagrin. And then, toward the end of Darren’s run, Darren texts to say he’s not coming back to LA after he finishes his run. He’s going to Italy. He’ll be gone for two months. It’ll cost too much to text or call. He’ll skype, maybe.

Chris tells him it’s fine. He’s not clingy. This convoluted thing that he and Darren have has never been simple, and if this is the end… Well. Then it’s the end. He feels sad, but not in the way he thought he might. At the beginning, he thought Darren was the great love of his life. They were star crossed. Ships in the night. Two people whose cards just didn’t seem to align. Forbidden lovers. Darren was his Romeo, his Christian, his… Whatever.

But over the years, he’s become a little more cynical. Seeing Darren pretending to be with someone else. Having to pretend to be with someone else, himself. The fights, the stress, the hiding, the lying. Having a secret is fun for a while. But there’s always an end to that fun, and that end has been and gone by this point. He loves Darren. He loves him so much that he aches with it sometimes.

But god, he doesn’t want to deal with this anymore. He can’t handle it. He can’t live a lie anymore. He’s always said he likes to keep his private life private, but the older he gets, the more he just wants to be with someone, openly and unashamedly. To pose with someone on the red carpet, to gush about them in interviews, hell, to even pull an Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone and refuse to make a serious comment. He wants to be able to show his pride in the man he loves. To shout from the mountain tops, to tell the world, “That’s my man, isn’t he amazing?”

Darren isn’t there yet. He’s starting to think Darren will never be there. Every time Chris thinks Darren might be stepping back toward the lamppost, toward the closet, his PR drag him straight back into the depths of Narnia to consult with Aslan. He gets it. Darren wants to be successful. He wants to be able to do what he loves. And to be able to do that, he has to seem a certain way. Once he’s famous enough, he can drop the act, be himself, ride on that wave. But he’s not there yet. He doesn’t seem to get that coming out could be the thing that makes his career.

But Chris doesn’t want to push. No one should come out before they’re ready. He didn’t have much of a choice himself, but still, he’s glad he came out when he did. The last thing he wants is to force Darren into something he could regret. He doesn’t want to be something that Darren regrets. That’s why he’s glad it’s ending like this. Not with a fight. Not with a bang. It just sort of… Fades. If their lives were a movie, this would be the point where the scene ends, where the camera fades to black, and a new one begins.

That’s what this is. A new scene. A new chapter. The difference from a movie is that neither of them can predict what’s going to happen in the end. Whether they’ll end up together, or whether this is it. But maybe that’s the most exciting part. Exciting and terrifying. But hey. That’s life for you. 


End file.
